Update:

I am attaching my .htaccess file in hopes that it helps. Click here. Obviously the .htaccess file is in my root site directory.

Background:
At the university here, we use something called Netbadge to authenticate users for all websites university related. Basically, Netbadge = Pubcookie. The problem is, this is a royal pain to build out

Solution:
Before I could begin, I needed an SSL encryption on my server and hostname. I will not go into detail on how to do that here mainly because everyone's setup differs GREATLY! 

Once complete, it is time to setup Pubcookie. At the university they offer a preconfigured installable file that will install Pubcookie for you. Awesome! Except that it only runs on 64bit servers and I just happen to be using a 32bit server. So I have to do it from scratch.